Bush smacks down brevity
At the invitation of highly revered (and totally non-fake) World Wrestling Entertainment, the Bush and Kerry Campaigns have happily supplied their respective answers to the official "Smack Down Your Vote" candidate survey.
The two candidates' responses are as different as A-Train and the Ultimo Dragon - and that's before you even look at policy.
Kerry, the first to submit his five-page response, speaks to the target 18-30 audience with cutting edge controversial statements about "the economic concerns of young Americans," "making sure the doors of college are open to everyone" and that young people should not "lack quality health care coverage." The Massachusetts Senator also warms the hearts of 18-30 year olds by letting them know that "this election is about you." (Shhhhhh, that's a secret, don't tell the demographic groups that actually vote.)
Bush, who submitted his eleven-page novella today, takes a, uhm, detailed approach to addressing the SmackDown wrestleheads. Venturing inside the Bush response, one can find such young-person engaging quotes as "real GDP has grown at the fastest annual rate in 20 years," and one noting that "real after-tax income in America has increased 11% since 2000." Those readers still awake enough to turn past page one will find an extremely loquacious defense of the War in Iraq, the PATRIOT Act and the Bush Administration's education reform.
On the unofficial "Who Smacked Down That Survey?" scale, Kerry wins this one, with especially high marks in the "knowing your audience" and "how to say it in less than one page per question" competitions. The Bush Camp, however, proves that they've got statistics. And lots and lots of words to go with them.
The two candidates' responses are as different as A-Train and the Ultimo Dragon - and that's before you even look at policy.
Kerry, the first to submit his five-page response, speaks to the target 18-30 audience with cutting edge controversial statements about "the economic concerns of young Americans," "making sure the doors of college are open to everyone" and that young people should not "lack quality health care coverage." The Massachusetts Senator also warms the hearts of 18-30 year olds by letting them know that "this election is about you." (Shhhhhh, that's a secret, don't tell the demographic groups that actually vote.)
Bush, who submitted his eleven-page novella today, takes a, uhm, detailed approach to addressing the SmackDown wrestleheads. Venturing inside the Bush response, one can find such young-person engaging quotes as "real GDP has grown at the fastest annual rate in 20 years," and one noting that "real after-tax income in America has increased 11% since 2000." Those readers still awake enough to turn past page one will find an extremely loquacious defense of the War in Iraq, the PATRIOT Act and the Bush Administration's education reform.
On the unofficial "Who Smacked Down That Survey?" scale, Kerry wins this one, with especially high marks in the "knowing your audience" and "how to say it in less than one page per question" competitions. The Bush Camp, however, proves that they've got statistics. And lots and lots of words to go with them.
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